Shopping with Autism

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The GIRL likes to shop. I don’t really mind it and funny thing is the BOY actually enjoys it. I actually think it’s good for him because he gets to work on his social skills, something most individuals with autism have difficulty with.

Well this shopping trip wasn’t my idea today but the GIRL needed to get something. Oh, I loaded happily into the car and the BOY climbed in right along side of her jabbering away about the circus. Today his subject was all about Alexander Lacey, the lion tamer, from Ringling Bros Circus. I swear if I ever meet Alexander Lacey I am going to bite him so hard. I HATE THIS GUY. I’ve never met him BUT I HATE HIM. I HEAR ABOUT HIM ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT NOT JUST TODAY BUT ALL THE TIME.   Let me repeat that I HATE ALEXANDER LACEY. On any given day when the BOY is stuck on him I will hear his name probably 6,567 times and I don’t think that is an exaggerated number. OK, well maybe a dog-bit, but it’s dog-gone close. The GIRL found a way to deal with it because when they finally arrived at the circus and SHE saw Alexander Lacey, she thought to herself well he’s rather handsome, so now every time the BOY says his name she thinks of handsome. THAT DOESN’T WORK FOR A DOODLE. I’m gonna rip the stuffing out of that guy.

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There were so many things at the store that I was interested in today. Those little stuffed furry things are almost irresistible for me. I just always have to put my nose on one or two in the store. The GIRL always corrects me. I just LOVE the stores that put them low and the GIRL gets busy looking at something. I just put my nose in them and give them little bites, looking for one to make a noise. No I don’t leave dog snot. I’m not that kinda of DOG.

The BOY is busy reading everyone’s names tag.

Major Doodle discovery here: most people who wear nametags forget they have them on and the BOY gets them every time.

HE immediately picks up on the name and so it goes:

BOY: “Oh Nancy is that REALLY you?”

Nancy: “YYYEEESS, (with great hesitation) do I know you?”

BOY: “I don’t know”

Nancy: “Where do I know you from? You look really familiar.”

BOY: “I don’t know.”

NANCY: “hmmm I just don’t remember”

BOY: “never mind.”

Nancy: VERY CONFUSED

BOY: “Nancy, you have beautiful eyelashes.”

Nancy: “OHHH (flustered) well thank you.” I just can’t remember where I know you from.

BOY: “never mind”

GIRL: Smiles inside…..thinking….. HELLLLOOO Nancy your name tag is on

DOODLE: The BOY is SMOOTH

DOODLE: I must learn to be that way.

Today, the GIRL was looking for something special and she had to ask the salesclerk (Nancy) to help her find it.

Nancy asked the GIRL and BOY to follow her.

She was still trying to remember where she knew the BOY from and the BOY was back to rambling on about ALEXANDER LACEY, and mom was snickering inside,

and then I SAW IT.

It was RIGHT THERE.

Right in my FACE. Well Almost. It was furry, fluffy and moved. I couldn’t help it. It was the Doodle voice in my head or maybe Alexander Lacey that made me do it.

It was a feather duster tied to her belt bouncing right off her ‘tuches’*. It went, bounce, fluff, bounce, fluff and it was like saying, “Doodle, bite me.” “COME ON DOODLE BITE ME”

SO……………….. I DID.

I just went YAP right at that fluffy, furry, bouncy thing on Nancy who couldn’t remember where she met the BOY.

Nancy was oblivious, after all it was behind her.

The GIRL is fast, must be from being around the BOY for so long. She jerked me so fast that I never got my teeth on it and Nancy still didn’t know a thing.

The BOY would have gotten it. HE is SMOOTH. I need to learn to be more like the BOY.  So this is my story and I’m sticking to it AUTISM MADE ME DO IT.

Remember: Be Kind….Support Autism…Peace Hugs Love a Doodle

 

*backside,ass

Talk to The Doodle

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