Food Reactions

Standard

The holiday day I didn’t get to take is over and it’s time to get back to the non holiday work days (what’s the doggone difference. I don’t know. I’m a damn Doodle) Let’s get one thing straight I really don’t do mornings. I hate mornings. The only good thing about mornings is the GIRL and I go for a long walk and we pee on every corner and sniff every tree. Well actually I do that , not the GIRL. SHE just says, “Doodle it’s the same spot as yesterday, can we speed this up” I wish I could say GIRL do I speed you up on the white seat …..

WHATEVER………

When we return from our walk the GIRL starts breakfast. I LOVE BREAKFAST. The BOY, well he just isn’t too fond of it. In fact the BOY isn’t too fond of food period. HE has a rather limited diet that the GIRL is always trying to increase and from what I understand this has been going on since he was a very young pup. SHE used to have strange ways of attempting to get food into him, from trying to make chicken strips look like French fries to feeding him in a very dim room, watching a movie in a stroller. Whatever it took to get food down the BOY, the GIRL would do. Most of the time it was an EPIC failure. However, she would always say, “thank goodness he is healthy, and never sick.”

The BOY’s diet is NOTHIN’ a DOODLE really LIKEs except for the meat. He eats Caesar salad, tomatoes, green olives, claussen dill pickles,, peanuts, McDonald French fries, popcorn and he will eat meat ONLY if it is made with Montreal Steak Seasoning, so all the meat and chicken tastes the same. His all time favorite is pizza. Every time we go out to eat it has to be a PIZZA place so the BOY will eat.

WE KNOW EVER DAMN PIZZA RESTAURANT IN TOWN. I HATE PIZZA. I bet you don’t know the names of every employee in every pizza restaurant in your town.

WE DO….

I don’t get it. I DIG food and pray everyday that the GIRL will give me the leftovers. The GIRL LOVES to cook and if a Doodle may say, the GIRL can COOK. YEAH RIGHT, me get leftovers. She says I have to keep my figure.

FOR WHAT I’M A DOG. PEOPLE LOVE FAT DOGS. Heck the GIRL can use a diet and I LOVE HER.

This morning the GIRL decided to make bacon and eggs. SHE very carefully made sure that the bacon had just the right amount of crispness and the eggs weren’t too soft or too hard. SHE put a small amount of eggs that could easily be picked up with the fork (the BOYS fine motor skills are about as good as mine are to eat with utensils with my paws) and SHE put the perfect amount of ketchup (typically a preferred condiment by the BOY) very carefully on each little mouthful

SHE called the BOY to the table and I was like GIRL WTH are you thinking? Are you hitting the cold medicine again, HELLLO are you awake????

BOY: “I don’t like eggs and bacon. They’re yucky. YUCK I HATE BACON AND EGGS. I’M NOT HUNGRY. MY STOMACH IS STILL MAKING THAT GRRRRR GRRRR GRRRR (now this is where I start to loose it. WTF is with that GRRRR GRRRR sound. Dude you need food eat the damn eggs and bacon). I don’t want the eggs and bacon.”

GIRL: “Your stomach is making that noise because it needs food. Eat the eggs and bacon.”

BOY: “YUCK. YUCK YUCK YUCK. I HATE BACON AND EGGS. I WANT CHEERIOS (yeah right BOY….you only eat 2 tablespoons of those when you have them) My stomach is still making that GRRRR sound. I DON’T WANT BACON AND EGGS. YYYYYUUUUUUCCCCKKKK.

GIRL: “You need to take at least one bite of egg and a piece of bacon.”

BOY: “it’s gonna be YUCKY. I hate bacon and eggs. I want cheerios. My stomach is making that GRRRR GRRR sound.”

The BOY eats a bite of the egg and then the bacon strip. I’m thinking BOY don’t eat it maybe SHE will give it to me.

Oh YEAH DOODLE GETS BACON AND EGGS. I LOVE THIS BOY.

GIRL: “you need breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I’ll get you cheerios.”

BOY: “I HATE BACON AND EGGS. MY STOMACH IS MAKING THAT GRRR GRRR SOUND.”

The GIRL gets him a bowl of cheerios.

The GIRL sits to eat her bacon and eggs, which are now below room temperature, and I’m still thinking OH YEAH DOODLE IS GONNA GET BACON AND EGGS.

I’ve got one word for that …….WRONG. Sometimes I feel like the SHLEMIEL* that never gets the BONE.

The BOY eats his usual 2 tablespoons (yes, she feeds him with a tablespoon thinking he may get a bit more in his mouth at a time) and……

BOY: “I’m finished. I’m not hungry. My stomach is still making that GRRRRGRRRR sound.” He gets up from the table with his bowl and he is DONE. He cleans the bowl and places in the dishwasher eagerly waiting for the moment that he can press START, after all there are at least 2 glasses, a bowl and at least a fork in that dishwasher.

The GIRL attempts to finish her below cold bacon and eggs and very quietly reminds herself that this is just a moment in time and it too shall pass.

Me I’ve given up. NO BACON AND EGGS FOR A DOODLE.

Eating is a common problem with most individuals with ASD. It’s difficult for family members and concerns family for long term health as they age. http://www.nationalautismresources.com/autism-eating-problems.html

 

*born loser

 

 

 

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