It’s Friday night. The GIRL and I have been talking. Yes, I talk with the GIRL. She shares stories with me about the last 25 years of raising the BOY and surviving autism.
For the last couple of days we have all been happy. When the BOY is happy we are happy and life is good.
Tonight we talked about being happy and how you can love someone so much that causes you sleepless nights, hours of paperwork, breaks things, ruins most of your plans, screams, yells and yet on the other side is sweet, kind, gentle and just a love. That’s the BOY.
He makes us smile and he melts our hearts. The GIRL says the hardest thing of raising someone with autism is society. Now remember the BOY isn’t a child, even though I call him the BOY, so when he was young autism wasn’t a household word. Everyone just thought he was an unruly child with a horrible mother. The GIRL has been in many uncomfortable situations through the years and it took her a long time to find comfort in those moments where society was cruel. How did she do it? Well after she thought about the moments she laughed and she laughed and laughed. Finally one day no stares or comments bothered her, because she just found the humor in it all. Sometimes we just have to learn to laugh like….
…when we are in the store standing in a line for a very long time and he leans forward telling the woman she is excused and repeats this at least 4 times before the GIRL says, “it’s fine,” and the BOY blurts out rather loudly in the line, “it’s not fine, she ripped one and is suppose to say EXCUSE ME.”
…when you are in a restaurant and he is in a bad mood or doesn’t like the PIZZA (remember it’s all we eat out) and he spits the food back on his plate and very loudly says, “YUCK…this is gross, I hate this restaurant, the pizza is GGGGRRRRROSSSS.” Now remember the BOY never says something like this just once.
…when he sees a 6’4” man over 300 pounds with a beard and tattoos all over his arms and he walks right up to the man with perfect, I mean perfect, eye contact, points his finger at him and laughs. Laughs right out loud…
…when he comes out of the restroom and in a very loud voice says, “now the pee feels better”
..when your out somewhere and he just decides to dance and starts laughing out loud and saying, “I’m so happy, isn’t this great?
….when he tells the woman that her dress is really ugly
…when we are having a really difficult day but we must complete our errands and he is calling me a MURDERER or GOATFACE in a store and EVERYONE is staring and moving to the front of the store, like there is a blue light special but in this instance to see if someone is getting murdered. People love gore.
BUT…… you have to LOVE it when he puts his arms around the GIRL from behind and says to her, “oh mom, I’m so glad you are home. I missed you so much.”
YES, autism with the BOY is sweet and sour (wish he’d eat Chinese food, I dig the wontons), but he is ours and well to be frank we think he is dog gone great.
Dealing and living with society is not easy. Most people do not understand autism because they can not see it or they don’t want to understand it. You must learn how to get over the clickers and shakers (the people who click their tongues and shake their heads at your child’s behavior). Your child needs to be out in society. It is how he will learn. Never allow the looks of others to bother you. Our thing is: if the BOY isn’t hurting himself or others he is fine and let them stare. The BOY needs to learn. The BOY always learns, sometimes it just takes a little longer, but in time with patients, a positive attitude and persistence…….he does.
SMILE….it will be over before you know it. As we read on one mother’s blog…”you can do anything for five minutes,” and if we remembered who said it we would gladly give her credit, but of course we don’t. After 5 minutes….. LAUGH……….
Support Autism Peace hugs love a doodle.