Take that Comment and Shove it


When you have a child with a disability sometimes people say the dumbest things.

PEOPLE…… do yourself and the family you are about to open your mouth to……………just don’t say anything.  You are ANNOYING..

Here are just a couple that make the  GIRL crazy………

Oh don’t worry I understand.

This makes us roll on the floor laughing. They DON’T have a clue and if you ask them if they have ever spent time with someone with autism, they would probably say, no.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh, that makes me so happy, listen I need someone to take care of him for a couple of days so I can get away and you seem to really understand, what days would work best for you, and oh the doodle can come too. He knows how to calm him down when he starts smashing the walls.”

Where will he live when he grows up?

Really. Why does it matter to them and all it does is make the parent feel horrible because it reminds them that once again their child will always need support and what will happen to them when they are gone.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh, I’m so glad you asked. His attorney for his guardianship tells us to find people who may be interested to have him live with them. You seem to be very interested. Thank you so much for asking.”

Will he ever be able to…………………?

Don’t ask this. It’s a horrible thing to ask a parent and a parent doesn’t know for sure until that time comes. Miracles do happen and things change. The GIRL never thought the BOY would be able to shave himself. He does GREAT and is always clean-shaven.

The GIRL would like to say, “I wonder if you will ever be able to learn not to ask such a stupid ass question.”

What is he good at?

Oh, this one knocks my tail off. Many still think of the movie ‘Rain Man’ and that all people with autism are savants in one area.

The GIRL would like to say, “at driving his mother to consume large quantities of wine in one sitting, but don’t worry, I’m in AA now so we are just taking one day at a time.”

Yes, this autism thing is really getting big isn’t it?

Stupid, dumb and dumber thing to say. Yes, ma’am it’s 1 out of 68 now and guess what the BOY is one.

The GIRL would like to say, “Just what the heck do you mean by that. Are you dumb or dumber?”

So, what does he do for fun?

Lady, do you really care….NO, so don’t ask.

The GIRL would like to say, “Oh he hangs out at the corner bar every night. That’s why we bought the house we did near that bar so he could walk home.”

Can he do anything on his own?

Why, don’t you get the salt out and just rub it in the cut. This has to be the absolute most horrible thing to ask someone.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh yes, he can destroy a house in about 10 minutes. What day did you say that brunch was at your house?”

You know… my niece, or is that my 2nd niece, in Allygoodville works with those types of kids?

What, I can’t believe I just heard that ‘those type of kids.”

The GIRL would like to say, “GREAT, why don’t you write her name , number and address down so I can send her another one of ‘those kids.”

We can go on and on and on and on, just like the BOY. Feel free to share one of those comments that you would like to say, “take that comment and shove it.

Here is the bottom line……………Speak the truth, don’t act like you know the answer if you don’t, always think how that question would make you feel it you were a parent of a child that required additional supports and ALWAYS abide by the Thumper Rule. IF YOU DON’T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

Oh, another fast favorite, “oh I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.” Lady, he’s 25 …when do you think that will happen. You maven moron.

Feel free to leave one….

5 thoughts on “Take that Comment and Shove it

  1. Hi Doodle, (not stalking, I promise) Just read this post and I agree there are so many dumb things that get said not just to parents but to those on the spectrum too!

    “So are you like really smart then?” I would assume this is because of Rain Man.

    “So, you don’t have any emotions, then?”
    …I have plenty. Thank you. I’m not a computer.

    “Isn’t it a bit childish to still like…(insert thing)” No! I can like what I want.

    “Can people with autism, even be in relationships?”
    Uhh.. Yeah. I don’t even know what else to say to that…

    Ooh! and my personal favourite (When I have knowledge about something) “oooh! You know a lot about that. is it because of your autism?”
    Apparently autism gives you super knowledge powers…. or something…..


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