It’ s that dreaded time of year when goblins, witches and monsters will roam our streets. Fearful creatures will slither into our life inducing screams, terror, and heart pounding moments. The blessing is it’s only for a night. Autism doesn’t come with a costume; it’s not just for a night and it does come with a daily distinctive level of fear, especially if you are the sole caregiver of an adult with autism. Yes, fear with autism is imminent.
The GIRL is sure that every parent lives with a specific level of daily fear for their child in one way or another. She believes that having a child with severe to moderate autism heightens that fear for many parents. Just listen to the news everyday and your fear is bound to escalate. It seems on a daily basis now some horrible act is being performed on an individual with autism. Fear is something that has always crossed her mind when the boy’s father was alive. The difference is it didn’t creep into her daily thoughts and slip into her dreams waking her in a cold sweat to spend countless hours awake worrying over the ‘what ifs’ and how to best protect the BOY that would enable her to diminish the fears and know that he was safe. When the BOYs father was alive as silly as it is or sounds she always felt there was a safety valve there and all would be fine. Now don’t misunderstand she had certain fears but not to the level now. Once the BOY’s father died everything changed. It changed from worrying about the future to fear of the future.
The GIRLS fears vary, sometimes she fears that she is not going to make it to the end of the day because something may happen halting her from seeing the morning sunlight once again. She fears that something might happen to spiral financial liabilities out of control leaving her and the BOY losing their home or food on the table each night. She fears that she will become very ill and not be able to provide care. She fears that something will happen to him when she is not right there and fears that an accident will happen and she never return home when she is driving or traveling alone, and the biggest fear of all is that when she is no longer here that he, the BOY, will be treated with ill respect and become extremely sad and depressed in life, no longer a happy young man. So yes, the GIRL lives in FEAR on a daily basis. Perhaps different from goblins and witches but fear is fear and it manages to creep into her life every day.
I know you’re probably saying what the heck is the difference of a regular parent and the GIRL is going over the top with this fear stuff. It is true that as a parent you always want to protect your child regardless of their age. When you have a child with autism life just seems to be so different and that different becomes so normal to the family that when they look out at others lives they seem so abnormal. Would the GIRL trade lives? Some days yes without a second doubt when autism takes over so strongly in the home that it literally cripples her and the BOY. Oh, yeah on those days she would love to. On every other day, NO WAY. Everything about the BOY is adored by the GIRL which may seem abnormal in a typically home, like how he runs up to her when she comes in from work and hugs her from behind or after they spend the day together and he tells her it was the best day ever and then in his own little limited language tells her how much he loves her, or he dances through the aisles of the store when’s happy. These are things that probably most 25-year-old males will not do, but the BOY does and the GIRL adores it. It’s like she always has her little guy near.
It doesn’t seem to matter how much you attempt to prepare for the future of your child who is not able to provide total care for themselves it is never enough and this fear continues to creep into your life. The goblin, witches and monsters are always right around the corner breathing down your neck. They creep into your life daily and nightly. They are within our society and we must continue to educate, educate and educate society and continue to stress the importance of differences and how to be kind so eventually these monsters too will understand and support those that are different from them.
The GIRL always says, “well you just have to keep moving forward and being prepared with every step.” She says that but I, the Doodle, knows she is scared. She just tries to be tough, but inside she’s peanut butter and I love peanut butter. I always try to tell her I will always be there for the BOY. She just smiles and says, “Doodle I know you will be.”
Be Kind, Peace hugs love a doodle and support autism.