As a Doodle, I take my job very seriously. I was brought into this dysfunctional family to protect and guide and that is what I will continue to do…..no matter what. Mr Store Manager, Sir, Don’t you Understand, Halloween can be confusing to a doodle who has to protect.
Sunday, just like every other Sunday the GIRL, the BOY and me, the Doodle, load into our little car with me jammed in the back seat and the BOY complaining that I’m to close to him…. head out to do our Sunday errands. Grocery shopping, lunch, and today we decided it was a beautiful Fall feeling day so we were going to the Home Décor store to get some Fall decorations to make the house feel festive inside and out.
All was going well. There were no erroneous odors eliminating from my bottom today like the other Sunday. The BOY was in a great mood and well I was feeling rather light from my new haircut and the day was like a Triple D (Dandy Doodle Day).
We pulled up to the Home Décor store and unloaded. The BOY, GIRL, and I jumped out of the car eager to get inside. The large glass doors opened as we neared the entrance and there is was. The 12 foot green, mean ,orange faced ,long clawed monster, who if ever got ahold of the BOY or GIRL would chew them up, claw them to bits and pieces, and throw them out.
I immediately went into Doodle Action.
I showed my teeth, I put my hair up. I braced my hind feet so I was prepared for any blow from that monster and then I let out my meanest, hardiest, Doodle bark, I could manage. It was so loud and vicious that I actually frighten myself the GIRL and the BOY. They both jumped like they had no idea what was going on and yelled at me for doing my job.
WHAT THE HECK….ARE THEY BLIND? DO THEY NOT SEE THE DANGER?
And why the heck is the BOY yelling at me to STOP BARKING…..HELLO I’m protecting here. Now the GIRL….DOODLE, STOP IT.
The GIRL is now dragging me around the corner, from the beast that I am protecting them from, only to bump into the U-GLEE EST lady I have ever seen with a wart on her nose and she starts talking to me and I once again go into vicious DOODLE PROTECTION MODE.
BOY: Doodle stop barking. No barking Doodle.
GIRL: Boy, I think he is afraid of those things.
BOY: I DON”T CARE …..DOODLE STOP BARKING. SHUT UP
BOY: I gotta stop saying that.
GIRL: Boy, you don’t need to yell at him.
BOY: YES, I DO. DOODLE STOP BARKING.
ME: BARK, BARK, BARK, I’LL RIP YOUR CLAWS AND THAT UGLY FACE OFF IF YOU COME NEAR US. BARK
In walks Mr. Store Manager. “Excuse me ma’am. We have an open policy about pets and yes I see he is a service dog, but we can not have him upsetting the customers or disrupting the store.”
BOY: SHUT UP DOODLE…OH I GOTTA STOP SAYING THAT.
GIRL: Sir, I am sorry, yes he is a service dog and I just think this stuff is giving him a fright.
ME: Bark, BARK
BOY: SHUT UP DOODLE…OH I GOTTA STOP SAYING THAT
ME: BARK BARK….what the heck is wrong with these people. These things are gonna kill them.
BOY: SHUT UP…..OH I GOTTA STOP SAYING THAT
MANAGER: OK, ma’am you need to get them both under control. I understand so can I help with anything?
GIRL: No thank you . Doodle come on let’s go, Boy stop saying that.
ME: Alright, we made it by those monsters.
BOY: Phew that was horrible.
GIRL: Yes, it was.
BOY: Doodle when I say no barking you are supposed to ZIP IT. Get it?
ME: If they only knew what I just fought off for them.
GIRL; is it cocktail time?
The GIRL, the BOY and me moved away from those monsters. I must have scared the crap out of those monsters because they didn’t move. I’m strutting NOW. OH YEAH, whose the KING of DOODLES.
the GIRL quickly got some things for the house and we checked out to head home. Did I do something wrong. What’s a doodle to do?
Be kind support autism peace hugs love a doodle.