Autism Wears Blue Suede Shoes

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So you think you should be wearing these blue shoes of mine do you? I’ll gladly allow you to put them on if you feel you need them.

I’m sure after a mile or two you’ll find they definitely aren’t the right pair for you even if they are your size.

Yes, I know you think that blue shoes are special and they are the thing to own and you’re jealous when you see them on me and you wish to the moon and back that they were yours, but like I said before, you will probably only get a mile or two and they’ll start to really hurt and you’ll gladly give them back.

You see these are my blue worn shoes and only I have learned to wear them through pain and years. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you think you can handle them just fine and would wear them so much better than I. So I guess it’s one for the money two for the show
. Three to get ready now go, cat, go.

I know you are so jealous of these blue suede shoes I wear. You think to yourself they are the most beautiful shoes you have ever seen. What soles they have for their age… and how graceful they move through the day. They must fit perfectly, after all the GIRL is always smiling who wears them, and she knows everything. She works right in the blue suede factory.

Yes, life in those blue suede shoes must…

no it has it to be PeRfeCt.

If only I had them my life could be too……

I do think you should know that some days the pain with them is intolerable. I am grateful that I have learned to just sit back….

take them off

and put up my feet to think that this moment in time shall pass too.

When you have finally learned to wear blue suede shoes as one should… you learn….It’s all moments of time and they all pass…….. some just take a little longer than others. So I sit and wait….and you learn…. You learn to some days …. never put those shoes ….and other days you wear them all day….. with a smile

Stories are stories, we heard them since childhood. They are embedded within our minds. Because the prince always saves the princess especially when the shoe fits.

But…..I stand within these shoes to say the shoe may fit but you may not be able to walk all day in them…..so please don’t just judge by the shoe or the smile…..it truly doesn’t resemble what it all’s about or how an individual may have the ability to hide the pain or walk the walk everyday, every hour.

Oh, by the way please don’t step on my blue suede shoes. I truly can’t take on another load. I may have a smile but that’s not really what is inside…..You see some of those indentations on those shoes are from people stepping on them everyday and everyone continues in their own way so please…. hear my pleas and lay off of my blue suede shoes. Really this is not a quest it’s a plea. I am old, so are my shoes, and so is my soul. Your eyes may tell you something different when you look but…please don’t….. I honestly can’t handle more….my back is becoming weak…my heart hurts and my soul is tired, so please don’t step on my blue suede shoes…

The spots….what are the spots?……those my friend ….those are the tears that I cry almost everyday asking G-D for the strength to continue to wear shoes of such beauty….because I know the strength and the quality of these shoes….and most important…..I believe…..

I believe that ANYTHING in these shoes is possible with love, patient, tolerance, support and more love…it is ALWAYS POSSIBLE…

The discoloration….oh well…that’s just trying to squeeze through situations where you are so frighten that you leave scrape marks on the side.. trying to gracefully get through…or from the night that you just continued to ask for one more knowing you were safe with the people you where with to get you home… just to kill the pain that you where feeling for weeks or months and somehow, someway without anyone really knowing you just had to get it out even if it wasn’t who you are and had to stab it even if it meant that you couldn’t put the shoes on for two days later and the people you spent that time with never really know who you were…..even if you wanted them to.

Yes, I wear these shoes. I wear them everyday and I love these shoes more than anyone can ever love a life, but G-D sometimes they hurt so bad and make me wonder …….CAN I really continue to keep these shoes.

Oh that dent in the side…..well that was just like any other morning and it was either I hurt the one I love or slam into the wall….I choose the other as always….they are only shoes…they are older….they can take the slams….The one I love is just trying to make it his own way through the day…

They may not appear as what they really are. You see I truly love these blue suede shoes and yes I know they are a gift from G-D, so I treasure them every moment of every day, but some days they are just harder to wear than others, so please bear me the moment to adjust to the extra discomfort on any particular day and again please don’t step on my blue suede shoes. I am doing the very best I can……can you not see…..

The soles ….oh yes they are very aged ….years of day in and day out of trials and tribulations ….people always continue to provide their input for what will work….BUT they don’t wear these shoes….they really don’t know….I am sorry blue suede shoes just don’t fit like others…..they are different…

And I stand as strong as I can say G-D,   “well, you can knock me down, step in my face
 Slander my name all over the place 
Do anything that you want to do 
But G-D, please let the people lay off of my blue suede shoes

Please understand the wearer is only human…. doing the best they can…and so grateful that you have finally taught us to ask……and ask…..and even beg if we have to….we love these shoes…..we love them with them with every breath…because we know…we know every spot, every crinkle, every mark, every dent…every thing about them…they are mine…they are love…they are life… they are you…G-D….give them the chance…..to dance!

peace love hugs a doodle…support autism…

Yes, Autism Does Have a Language and LOTS OF FRIENDS

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The GIRL is tired today, very tired. She almost fell asleep driving on the highway. This is not good because she didn’t even bring me out with them today. She said, “Doodle, you need a break, stay home.” Time changes are always a mess for the boy and difficult for the GIRL. She says that over the years with the BOY she has probably lost over 252,000 hours of sleep and that doesn’t include the time change hours that she lost, that is just mom of autism lack of sleep.

The BOY doesn’t adapt well to time changes. His biological clock stays true  and on fall -back time he is up by 4am raring to go through the day like a bull in a china shop. That means breakfast should be within an hour and lunch a couple hours after. The GIRL has finally figured out through the years on the fall back time to give him snacks throughout the day so he keeps food in his belly and doesn’t get super cranky. Sometimes it works other times it’s a failure.  Today wasn’t bad, but anything was an improvement from yesterday.

About 2 months ago, I started doing this blog and then started a facebook page. The GIRL was not in the best frame of mind when I started all of this, but day-by-day as she peeked over my paws she saw something and I saw something in her.

You see the GIRL has been working in the field of autism ever since the BOY was diagnosed. Yup, she eats, breathes and lives autism, and has done so for a LONG time (I think it’s why she gets a little cranky time-to-time), actually about 24 years now. She has worked doing one thing or another and truth be told she was really starting to lose appreciation for many parents. She was finding too many parents looking to blame others for their child’s issues and looking for others to “fix” their child and if they didn’t “fix them” throw an attitude that the person or place isn’t doing their job. She was finding too many parents that were constantly demanding more supports and services of her when she was doing well over the top of what one human could do and it still wasn’t enough for them, BUT they would refuse to step up to the plate to offer help when she would ask. They just wanted her to do all the work. They gave her excuses like, they were tired (hello), they had a child with autism (hello), they had a job (hello), it was too far to drive (hello she drove there) and they didn’t have the money (hello), or they were a single parent, how could a single parent help (HELLO AGAIN). She was finding too many parents not wanting to face the reality of the diagnosis and too many wanting everything in life for free because they had a child with autism (she really hates that). She was just getting burnt out and was still trying to bring herself and the BOY back together from losing the BOY’s dad.  Needless to say the last 2 years has been an over the top struggle for the GIRL and she knew it.

BUT……..then she found them from looking over my paws. The parents from all over the world that are out there speaking up, banding together to provide for one another. They provide arms to hug with, shoulders to cry on, hands to pick one up, tissues for tears, laugher when needed and hearts to love with. These are the thousands of moms and dads that she has found through my blog and facebook. They are there. They are not looking to blame. They are not asking for free stuff every minute. They are not demanding her to do more. They are just there. There to let her know once again she is not alone and we are all on this same damn boat floating out in the sea looking for a captain who can tell us where the hell we are going.

Some of our friends are going to bed when we wake up while others are battling autism battles and rights with schools, while some are struggling to just keep their child safe from harming themselves and some waiting for that one word. The best part is almost all of them do it with humor….humor because we all have learned that it is easier to laugh and if we didn’t laugh we would never make it day after day after day. They try to make each other laugh and sometimes it’s a humor that only they get because it’s there side of normal that most other people don’t get.

It’s almost as if it’s a language of it’s own. Perhaps it is AUTIELANG or something, but whatever it is, it gives them all a peace within. A peace that others know, understand, support and love. It gives a peace that someone is always there no matter if it’s the middle of the night and you’re awake due to autism not sleeping or a bad night, someone is always there to laugh, cry, pick you up or hold you.

It’s their world……a very special world to be in with a language of it’s own. A world where only the strong survive with bangs and bumps, but survive. The GIRL is happy to be a part of such a beautiful place with so many wonderful people.

The Doodle is honored and pleased to be a friend of each and every one. If you want to meet some really cool, awesome autism heroes go to my facebook page and check out my likes. Tell them the Doodle sent you. They are all better than best and will make your day that much better.

Be kind support autism peace hugs love a doodle. The doodle loves you.

Autism Storms the House

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It was a difficult day for all of us. The weather was beautiful and the GIRL had big plans for all of us to spend most of the day outside enjoying it, BUT autism got in the way today and we spent most of the day being quiet and trying to ride out the autism storm that was brewing inside the BOY.

The BOY has been doing GREAT. We have had very few eruptions in the last several weeks. Just the other day at the doctor’s office the GIRL said we were all doing awesome. Perhaps she spoke to soon, perhaps the change in the weather is just too much for the BOY.

As any other Saturday the BOY was up bright-eyed and busy tailed well before 6am. The GIRL and I decided to hang around in bed for a while enjoying the cool crisp morning air. We finally got out of bed around 7:15am. This seemed to start the hurricane within the BOY. The GIRL is assuming he wanted us up earlier so he could come in the GIRL’s room to collect her clothing from the day before and night so he could start his Saturday laundry.

Agitation begins.

The GIRL and I go out for our morning walk. I was loving life today. It was cool and I was frisky. YAHOO. We are gonna go out all day. The GIRL was feeling good too in the crisp weather. We took a 2 mile walk and returned home.

The BOY was dress like it was ten below outside and he informed the GIRL it was cold outside and the GIRL said, “well it’s not really cold it’s CHILLY.”

Lava building up quickly to spill over!!!! OH NO…NOT CHILLY.

The BOY then starts to perseverate that it is not CHILLY it is COLD. 10, 20, 50, 100 times he repeats this and starts his over correction with the GIRL and ordering her to say things the way he wants them said. YES, you read it right he says, “I order you to say…….”. The GIRL always replies with the only ORDERING done around here is in a restaurant and we aren’t in a restaurant.

Me, I’m hanging out by the front door. The GIRL has it open with a gate in front for the cool, crisp, clean air to come in the house and oh the neighbors are doing a garage sale. There were a lot of new cars pulling up and lots of strange people walking very close to my door and I thought I should probably bark at those humans, after all they could be coming to harm the GIRL and the BOY.

ERUPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The BOY begins smacking himself in the head, calling me a stupid idiot, the GIRL, his when really angry, GOAT FACE and smashing his hand on the table, sofa and throwing the stuff on the coffee table.

Now usually I go in on these storms and I can stop him but today, well I just knew it was too bad a storm and if I went in I probably would not have come out. So the GIRL and I backed off. The GIRL instructed him to go to the other room to relax.

It GOT WORSE.

He continued to hit himself in the head, break the bed, rip the stuff off the wall and scream at the top of his lungs. I was like GIRL we have to go in and she said, “NO, he needs to calm, we can get hurt.”

Calming in our house typically is to shut down things that stimulate senses. So off goes the TV and I don’t bark and the GIRL doesn’t talk. We become QUIET.

QUIET BRING CALM.

About an hour later the BOY was somewhat calm. Three hours later we decided to try to run some errands. It wasn’t the worse day we had out, but it wasn’t pleasant either. The GIRL knew the BOY was on the edge of eruption the mere 2 hours we were out so not wanting another storm of such magnitude we came home.

It appears that the weather always has an effect on the BOY. Maybe it’s the sensory thing of going from shorts to pants. We live in Florida, so most of our year we are in shorts. Maybe he doesn’t like the feel of that and it just makes everything else harder to deal with on a daily basis. Maybe it was because yesterday was Halloween and he hates Halloween. He wishes that someone, somewhere, somehow would steal this holiday and never brings it back. Sometimes these eruptions are from things in the past that he just runs over and over in his mind until he breaks. We never know. 

Each day is a new day. Life isn’t always as we plan it but we always try to make the best of each of our days. Thank goodness for tomorrows.

 

Autism….like a monster…can cause FEAR!

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It’ s that dreaded time of year when goblins, witches and monsters will roam our streets. Fearful creatures will slither into our life inducing screams, terror, and heart pounding moments. The blessing is it’s only for a night. Autism doesn’t come with a costume; it’s not just for a night and it does come with a daily distinctive level of fear, especially if you are the sole caregiver of an adult with autism. Yes, fear with autism is imminent.

The GIRL is sure that every parent lives with a specific level of daily fear for their child in one way or another. She believes that having a child with severe to moderate autism heightens that fear for many parents. Just listen to the news everyday and your fear is bound to escalate. It seems on a daily basis now some horrible act is being performed on an individual with autism. Fear is something that has always crossed her mind when the boy’s father was alive. The difference is it didn’t creep into her daily thoughts and slip into her dreams waking her in a cold sweat to spend countless hours awake worrying over the ‘what ifs’ and how to best protect the BOY that would enable her to diminish the fears and know that he was safe. When the BOYs father was alive as silly as it is or sounds she always felt there was a safety valve there and all would be fine.   Now don’t misunderstand she had certain fears but not to the level now. Once the BOY’s father died everything changed. It changed from worrying about the future to fear of the future.

The GIRLS fears vary, sometimes she fears that she is not going to make it to the end of the day because something may happen halting her from seeing the morning sunlight once again. She fears that something might happen to spiral financial liabilities out of control leaving her and the BOY losing their home or food on the table each night. She fears that she will become very ill and not be able to provide care. She fears that something will happen to him when she is not right there and fears that an accident will happen and she never return home when she is driving or traveling alone, and the biggest fear of all is that when she is no longer here that he, the BOY, will be treated with ill respect and become extremely sad and depressed in life, no longer a happy young man. So yes, the GIRL lives in FEAR on a daily basis. Perhaps different from goblins and witches but fear is fear and it manages to creep into her life every day.

I know you’re probably saying what the heck is the difference of a regular parent and the GIRL is going over the top with this fear stuff. It is true that as a parent you always want to protect your child regardless of their age. When you have a child with autism life just seems to be so different and that different becomes so normal to the family that when they look out at others lives they seem so abnormal. Would the GIRL trade lives? Some days yes without a second doubt when autism takes over so strongly in the home that it literally cripples her and the BOY. Oh, yeah on those days she would love to. On every other day, NO WAY. Everything about the BOY is adored by the GIRL which may seem abnormal in a typically home, like how he runs up to her when she comes in from work and hugs her from behind or after they spend the day together and he tells her it was the best day ever and then in his own little limited language tells her how much he loves her, or he dances through the aisles of the store when’s happy. These are things that probably most 25-year-old males will not do, but the BOY does and the GIRL adores it. It’s like she always has her little guy near.

It doesn’t seem to matter how much you attempt to prepare for the future of your child who is not able to provide total care for themselves it is never enough and this fear continues to creep into your life. The goblin, witches and monsters are always right around the corner breathing down your neck. They creep into your life daily and nightly. They are within our society and we must continue to educate, educate and educate society and continue to stress the importance of differences and how to be kind so eventually these monsters too will understand and support those that are different from them.

The GIRL always says, “well you just have to keep moving forward and being prepared with every step.” She says that but I, the Doodle, knows she is scared. She just tries to be tough, but inside she’s peanut butter and I love peanut butter. I always try to tell her I will always be there for the BOY. She just smiles and says, “Doodle I know you will be.”

Be Kind, Peace hugs love a doodle and support autism.

Bullies are a Problem Everywhere

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Some people shouldn’t be let out in public on some days. If you are not in good mood , then STAY HOME. Society is a bully. How do we teach our children not to bully when their parents are doing it all the time in public for children to hear and see. Stopping bullying begins at home. I hate bullies and want to bite each one, but then that would be like bullying ….right?

The GIRL stayed home this morning because she worked very late the night before. The BOY went to work. I stayed home with the GIRL today. I love the house alone with the GIRL. It’s so quiet. Sometimes we put the music on. Today we talked about the BOY and she shared a story from long ago…….

When the BOY was younger he always wanted to ride in the shopping cart. He didn’t want to walk along side the cart he wanted to ride in it. He was getting a little big for riding in the cart and the GIRL knew they would have to make a change soon. One Sunday, the GIRL, the BOY and his dad went to Target. It was the first time they had ever seen one of those shopping carts with the kid seats attached. The GIRL would name them the limousine carts. The dad, who never had ideas said to the GIRL, “hey this is it, the answer to our dilemma. If you sit on one side he (the BOY) will follow and sit on the other side instead of wanting to get in the cart.”

The GIRL wasn’t really up to it that day.

AUTISM RULE NO 1: always pick and choose your battles carefully. The GIRL has a sign in the house that says, ‘don’t get in the saddle unless you are ready to ride.’ It’s the same for behaviors. Don’t start a behavior unless you are going to run it out. That could be 5 minutes or 5 hours. Be prepared or don’t start.

Plus, the GIRL was thinking the size of that seat is really small. Now that girl at that time wasn’t anything large, but those little red, hard plastic seats are small. Really small. The BOY’s dad continued to push the GIRL to do it and she reluctantly gave in and was going to ride (in both ways …the cart and any behavior).

The GIRL carefully squeezed her behind onto the hard red plastic and the BOY’s father began to push her. The BOY was running along side screaming. He was refusing to get on it. The dad stopped the cart and told him to do what mommy was doing. He continued to scream louder. What did he scream, “she’s gonna kill me, I can’t do it. I’m gonna die,” (that is from Charlotte’s Web incase you are wondering, wait till I tell you about the police officer and that same line).

The Target shoppers starting quickly pushing their shopping carts from the back of the store to the front, like it was a blue light special at Wal-Mart, to see who was gonna get killed. The Target carts starting to surround the GIRL, the dad, the screaming BOY and the special limousine cart.

The girl was starting to sweat as she crouched on the little seat. The BOY continued to scream loudly. “I’m gonna die, she’s gonna kill me.” The girl was very stressed. She still hadn’t adjusted to the ‘clickers and shakers’ (you know those rude bullies who click their tongues and shake their heads saying what a horrible parent she is and how disgusting that child is). She was ready to stand up to say she was not ready to ride all the way (which would have been a HUGE mistake) when her purse turned upside down and all her private items within her purse were now rolling on the floor. The BOY was still screaming and the dad said, “forget it” and he walked away leaving the screaming BOY and the GIRL now on the floor on her hands and knees collecting her personal items that were rolling at the crowds feet that were forming a circle around her with their shopping carts, clicking and shaking.

All she heard was blah, blah, shh, blah…….the BOY was loud.

She collected her items and with all her will tried to look straight ahead and ignore the bullies. She placed her hands on the cart and the BOY abruptly stopped screaming and sat on the red hard plastic seat.

The GIRL just pushed on like everything was PeRFecT. Next aisle she sees the dad coming back with a regular cart and she waves him away. All was good.

On that Sunday at Target the GIRL learned rule number 2.

AUTISM RULE NO 2: If your child is not harming himself or anyone else around you the h-ll with society and those clickers and shakers. You are teaching your child a very valuable lesson that will be something he needs for a long time. Piss on those bullies, they should have stayed home.

Sorry society but our kids don’t learn like yours. Sometimes they may get loud, but you know what. They are not bullies. They are kind, sweet, innocent people who just need a little more support than most do.

 AUTISM RULE NO 3: NEVER, I mean NEVER allow those clickers and shakers bother you.  THEY ARE BULLIES!!!  Bullies should stay at home and learn how to be kind before they go out in society.

NOW GO ON….no BLUE LIGHT special here.

 

Support Autism Peace hugs Love a Doodle………

No Halloween Allowed

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Halloween is around the corner. What will you do and how will it be handled in your home.  We gave up on Halloween years ago………….

The GIRL used to like Halloween. When she had the BOY she was so excited his first Halloween. She couldn’t wait to dress him up.

The BOY was only 8 months old on his 1st Halloween, so he didn’t really fuss when she dressed him as a beetle. On his second Halloween he wasn’t too excited to be a crayon and by his third Halloween he HATED being Elvis.

The GIRL didn’t give up on Elvis.

Every year she would sit for hours making his custom. Yes, the silly GIRL MADE his costumes. She wouldn’t go out and buy one. She would sit for hours at the sewing machine making him one. WHY? Because she has that crafty hand crap thing in her and she has to do it. She says it’s therapeutic for her. Personally, I don’t get it. Just go buy it and bring it home and wear it. Hmmm, who has autism here……

Together they would carve pumpkins with intricate designs. She would put newspaper on the floor and have the BOY help her take out the pulp. The BOY liked that part, but the candy and costume part didn’t cut the mustard in his book.

SO………….

After several more years of meltdowns that lasted hours and maybe one stop at a neighbors, the GIRL stopped making the BOY dress up. She thought that maybe he would do best handing out the candy when the other children dressed in costumes came to their home. That didn’t work either. He HATED the kids coming to the house and wouldn’t go near the door on Halloween.

So the GIRL and the BOY have not celebrated Halloween for years. The GIRL would just hand out candy to the other children who would stop by the house. It’s not always important to celebrate every holiday.

The GIRL was looking at some antlers in the store the other day. She better not think she is gonna dress me up since the BOY doesn’t want to. No way am I wearing something like that.

If you are a parent of a child with ASD, please consider your child’s limits. I’m not comfortable wearing antlers maybe your child isn’t comfortable in a costume. Is it really that important?

If you do go out start small, maybe go to 2-3 houses and build up each year. Maybe even go to people’s houses that your child already knows. Write a social story about trick or treating and practice getting candy.

 

Most important be safe support autism peace hugs love a doodle.

Hold for five minutes and then Laugh…

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It’s Friday night. The GIRL and I have been talking. Yes, I talk with the GIRL. She shares stories with me about the last 25 years of raising the BOY and surviving autism.

For the last couple of days we have all been happy. When the BOY is happy we are happy and life is good.

Tonight we talked about being happy and how you can love someone so much that causes you sleepless nights, hours of paperwork, breaks things, ruins most of your plans, screams, yells and yet on the other side is sweet, kind, gentle and just a love. That’s the BOY.

He makes us smile and he melts our hearts. The GIRL says the hardest thing of raising someone with autism is society. Now remember the BOY isn’t a child, even though I call him the BOY, so when he was young autism wasn’t a household word. Everyone just thought he was an unruly child with a horrible mother. The GIRL has been in many uncomfortable situations through the years and it took her a long time to find comfort in those moments where society was cruel. How did she do it? Well after she thought about the moments she laughed and she laughed and laughed. Finally one day no stares or comments bothered her, because she just found the humor in it all. Sometimes we just have to learn to laugh like….

…when we are in the store standing in a line for a very long time and he leans forward telling the woman she is excused and repeats this at least 4 times before the GIRL says, “it’s fine,” and the BOY blurts out rather loudly in the line, “it’s not fine, she ripped one and is suppose to say EXCUSE ME.”

Or

…when you are in a restaurant and he is in a bad mood or doesn’t like the PIZZA (remember it’s all we eat out) and he spits the food back on his plate and very loudly says, “YUCK…this is gross, I hate this restaurant, the pizza is GGGGRRRRROSSSS.” Now remember the BOY never says something like this just once.

Or

…when he sees a 6’4” man over 300 pounds with a beard and tattoos all over his arms and he walks right up to the man with perfect, I mean perfect, eye contact, points his finger at him and laughs. Laughs right out loud…

or

…when he comes out of the restroom and in a very loud voice says, “now the pee feels better”

or

..when your out somewhere and he just decides to dance and starts laughing out loud and saying, “I’m so happy, isn’t this great?

Or

….when he tells the woman that her dress is really ugly

or

…when we are having a really difficult day but we must complete our errands and he is calling me a MURDERER or GOATFACE in a store and EVERYONE is staring and moving to the front of the store, like there is a blue light special but in this instance to see if someone is getting murdered. People love gore.

BUT…… you have to LOVE it when he puts his arms around the GIRL from behind and says to her, “oh mom, I’m so glad you are home. I missed you so much.”

YES, autism with the BOY is sweet and sour (wish he’d eat Chinese food, I dig the wontons), but he is ours and well to be frank we think he is dog gone great.

 

Dealing and living with society is not easy.  Most people do not understand autism because they can not see it or they don’t want to understand it.   You must learn how to get over the clickers and shakers (the people who click their tongues and shake their heads at your child’s behavior).   Your child needs to be out in society. It is how he will learn. Never allow the looks of others to bother you. Our thing is: if the BOY isn’t hurting himself or others he is fine and let them stare. The BOY needs to learn. The BOY always learns, sometimes it just takes a little longer, but in time with patients, a positive attitude and persistence…….he does.

SMILE….it will be over before you know it. As we read on one mother’s blog…”you can do anything for five minutes,” and if we remembered who said it we would gladly give her credit, but of course we don’t.  After 5 minutes….. LAUGH……….

Support Autism Peace hugs love a doodle.