Mind-blindness and Empty Shelves in the Autism House

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Well this morning began almost like any other typical morning in our home. The BOY was up at 5:07am, dressed by 5:11am, and the washing machine was running a load by 5:13am. Here is where the almost comes in. The dishwasher was not concurrently running with the washing machine. For a moment I thought, what the heck is the BOY ill today, and then I quickly recalled the flood we had yesterday from the dishwasher. That’s a whole different story. So this morning was almost like any other morning in our home before 5:30am minus the chug, squirt, swish sound of the dishwasher.

The BOY was in his giddy little mood this morning and even though he appeared to be happy on the outside I know as a doodle knows not to ‘look’ at him because that happy moment is GONE. The BOY has 2 standard morning moods GIDDY or HORRID.

NEVER STARE AT THE BOY IN THE MORNING. Oh heck, never stare at the BOY anytime. It pisses him off. Sometimes I do it just to piss him off. Hey, what can I say a doodle gets bored too.

The GIRL gets up, throws on some clothes to take me out for a little relief. It’s Monday and I personally dig Mondays. Mondays means garbage. (Yes, I say garbage but to the BOY it’s trash) I love going out and taking my sweet butt doodle time sniffing everyone’s garbage along the way. You know it’s the best way to find things out about your neighbors. The GIRL doesn’t get it. I actually know that the best way to the guy’s heart across the street is by tuna.  I dig tuna, so I always have to take extra long on his trash. As we walk along lifting legs on everyone’s trash, I’m thinking BOOYAH life is good. The air is crisp this morning and I’m managing to pee on almost everyone’s can or bag out there today. Oh, I should clarify the GIRL does not lift her leg. She actually yells at me for lifting my leg on everyone’s garbage and attempts to drag me along to move a bit faster, but I’m never in a hurry on Mondays.

We return from our walk and the GIRL gets her exercise on. She gets on this damn machine that makes some horrible noise, plugs these strange things in her ears and goes pretty darn fast for like 30 minutes. Personally, I don’t get it , what the heck is she trying to do. She doesn’t go anywhere and to think she doesn’t want to sniff trash with me. HUMANS….

We eat our breakfast…..well the GIRL and I do. The BOY typically takes 2-4 bites and says, “YUCK, I hate this, this is gross, besides I’m not hungry. My stomach is making that grrrrrr sound.” He then stomps up from the table and throws out whatever he is eating and the GIRL and I finish our breakfast.

This almost normal morning the GIRL went to get in the shower and realized she didn’t have any soap. Now I have to give credit where credit is due, the GIRL has become rather thrifty with money since it has become a shortage. She coupons, watches the sales, and gets some really awesome bargains. The GIRL stocks many things that we all use on a regular basis like soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, lotion, tissues, toilet paper…you get it. I mean she’s not a hoarder but she keeps about 2-3 months of most things stocked and buys them on sale with coupons to help us stay within budget.

Out to the garage she ventures to find the shelf where the soap is EMPTY. Yes, I wrote EMPTY. At first she thought she was looking on the wrong shelf because there was plenty there just last week. She looks again and now starts looking at me, like what the heck did you do with the soap and I’m like hey don’t look at me I prefer to never bath remember and Doodle’s don’t eat that crap.

She starts to look further. Oh no the deodorant is GONE.

What NO SHAMPOO.

TOOTHPASTE GONE…….and then it hits her.

The storage shelves are ALL EMPTY and suddenly she hears that little voice in the back of her mind and it’s the BOY saying just last week he didn’t like that toothpaste. In fact he told her that a couple of times not only about toothpaste but he mentioned he didn’t like the green shampoo nor the blue deodorant. The GIRL just wasn’t really listening.

So here we are now the cupboards are BARE and all I am thinking is thank goodness the BOY doesn’t do anything that involves doodle snacks. I went to check just to make sure. I am safe.

So our almost typical Monday ended up in a money saved money tossed and tomorrow will be another day with locks on the supplies type of day.

GIRL: BOY, I do believe we will be implementing a new program here. You cannot just throw things out that you don’t like.

BOY: of course I can. I don’t like it. I don’t want it.

GIRL: it doesn’t work that way

BOY: yes it does

DOODLE: GIRL give it up the BOY already did it so YES IT DOES.

That’s our BOY. Mind-blindness sorta goes with autism for the most part and the GIRL is not fond of it this almost typical day.

 Lesson Learned by GIRL:  Always LISTEN TO THE BOY. ALWAYS

Be kind, love peace hug a doodle. Support autism.

The MAN, the BOY, the GIRL & AUTISM

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This will be the longest story ever written by me. I couldn’t stop the GIRL through her tears once she started. Last year on this evening she said, “Goodbye,” and told the MAN to always stand at her side. It was the last the BOY and GIRL saw the MAN. You can read it all, some, or none, but this is the story of the GIRL and  BOY and the MAN and AUTISM and well as the Doodle that I am, I had to share.

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It was the wee hours of the morning that the phone rang loudly in the darkness. The GIRL bolted up in her bed grabbing the phone quickly not wanting another ring to echo in the darkness of the early morning hours, and at the same time knowing it was the final ring call for the MAN and just the sound of it caused her great pain. Her heart started to cry before she even pushed the button to talk and with a very weak “hello,” the voice on the other end told her, he was gone. It was November 6th, 2013, approximately 2:13am.

Illness comes to all of us, sometimes in strange ways. Some for a day or two with fever, chills and other ailments, but to the MAN it started in April or earlier. He wouldn’t tell the GIRL things like this he would just nonchalantly mention that he wasn’t feeling well from time to time when she would drop off the BOY for his every other weekend stay. The GIRL would make suggestions for his ailments and go on her weekend of rest and solitude.

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The GIRL looked forward to these every other weekend stays. It would give her a break from the BOY and enable her to recharge for the upcoming 2 weeks. The BOY was getting harder. His behaviors were starting to escalate and no one could figure out what was actually happening. He was difficult for the GIRL and the MAN had great problems for the mere 48 hours that he had him. Each needed a break after their time with the BOY. Discussions among the GIRL and the MAN about the BOY and his future were starting to become a bi-weekly event. The MAN was adamant that the BOY never live in a home other than his own and the GIRL agreed but she couldn’t continue to be the main caregiver. It had to change. Little did she know the change that was to come.

The GIRL was with the MAN since she was 18 years old. She was 55 when he passed away. He was much older than her and already had two boys of his own when he met her. He was divorced and living the fine life. He drove fancy cars, had fancy clothes and jewelry to match. He lived in penthouses and houseboats. Life was fast and fun for him. He thought she was beautiful. She was somewhat intimidated by the MAN. He was strong, powerful and somewhat demanding, but there was something about him that made her stick around him.

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Fourteen years later they were married and expecting their first son. Life was always exciting with the MAN. He loved to live large. Renting limousines with champagne for a drive across the state or jumping on a plane to fly to an island and sometimes across the country for the weekend was not an uncommon experience for the two. They laughed, they fought, they cried, but most important they loved. Each had an innate understanding for the other and the GIRL learned. She learned how to be a business woman. She learned how not to be meek and mild, how to stand up for what she believed was right and to be heard. She learned how to manipulate almost any negative situation and turn it to a positive one. The MAN was proud because he knew there was now little that would the GIRL couldn’t do on her own, and he, he was the TEACHER. He was not only proud, he admired her strength. Every time she fell down he watched her stand up and do it bigger and better the next time. He always told her she was strong. Maybe he was preparing her for the future. Maybe he knew what was to come and wanted her to be strong enough to make it through. Maybe, just maybe he always knew.

The baby BOY was diagnosed with autism a little over the age of 2. The MAN was beside himself and the GIRL dove in head first to learn whatever she could about this thing called autism. She traveled from one side of the country to another (grateful that money wasn’t really an issue for her to do such) and she read everything she could find. The MAN never picked up a book. He just couldn’t deal with it. He tried, but as I said, he was older and well it was just darn difficult for him to accept and support, but sometimes he tried.

The older the BOY became and the stronger the behaviors became the more frequent the disagreements between the MAN and the GIRL grew. The daily disagreements turned in hourly screaming matches with the BOY slamming doors and breaking things, which was understood because that was truly what he was seeing daily. The MAN would never look to support the GIRL with the BOY and he would say she was the expert so she should handle him. The GIRL was exhausted and couldn’t fight with two anymore. After 18 years with the BOY together, the GIRL felt the best thing for all was to be separate. The MAN and the GIRL divorced. He was still her best friend who knew her better than anyone as she knew him.

They started to become a team for the first time for the BOY. They went to dinner together. They talked and they still laughed. They helped each other when they could. Life was good, and all were adjusting to their new separate family. She would call, he would call and they would plan. The BOY was doing great when they first separated and then about 3 years later his behaviors started and he was becoming extremely difficult.

It was a week in June when the MAN didn’t answer his phone or call the GIRL back and she knew. She just knew. Something was wrong. The MAN was always afraid of doctors and hospitals and reluctantly off to the hospital was the MAN and within hours he was diagnosed with colon cancer that had already metastasized. The GIRL being who she is asked for every paper and read them over and over and spent hours in the University library researching all the test results and then she cried. She cried for the MAN. She cried for the BOY and she cried for HER. She knew the ending now and it wasn’t in anyone’s favor, especially the MAN.

The MAN knew the GIRL would look after him and help him. He knew she would spend hours researching everything to ask every possible question and be able to communicate with his medical team as if she was a part of if. Yes, he knew, because he knew the GIRL better than anyone and he was right, so he asked her to stay and stay she did to help. She hired people to provide daily care for him; she coordinated most of his medical needs and was there to hold his hand, drive him to his appointments and to talk. Just talk. They talked about the BOY. They talked about their love. They talked about their pass, and they try to talk about the future, but all the MAN would say was, “you can do this. You are strong. You can do anything and I don’t want to hear anything else. You can. Remember GIRL NEVER say you CAN’T, can’t is just another way of saying I don’t want to.”

The GIRL would try to spend time each week with the MAN. Family tension rose quickly and the GIRL didn’t get to see the MAN as much as she wanted. His mother, who was of higher years gone by, became belligerent and intolerable to the GIRL and started to accuse her of stealing from the MAN. The GIRL was devastated by these accusations, because her heart was only love and she would never steal from the MAN. She didn’t have to, the MAN would have given her anything, at anytime. The MAN truly loved the girl and always would. The GIRL knew this and that is the one thing that always made her feel secure. The most precious memory is their last walk with him in his wheel chair, too weak to walk on his own, and her pushing him (he only trusted her to push him) and she leaned down to hear him and his head cuddled hers as if to say, I love you and I know it’s over and it was great doll. The last thing she told the MAN was I love you and she meant it. She will always love the MAN. He is the father of the BOY. He was her friend, her lover, her partner, her husband and her mentor.

After the phone rang the GIRL couldn’t sleep. Her pain was beyond any explanation. She just didn’t think it would hurt this much. She told the MAN’s sister she would go to the MAN’s house in the morning to get a suit for him. He was to be buried in Miami near his father. When the GIRL arrived at the house the older boys were already there. She wanted to comfort them even though their relationship for the last several years had been strained, they just lost their father. They met her at the door and refused to let her in. She was so distraught that she didn’t think it was her own home that they were prohibiting her from. She left in tears and they barricaded  the home from her entering it for several weeks. Little did she know that pain she felt that day was only the beginning of the pain to follow of the MAN’s death. At the service she sat with the BOY as stiff as the corpse within the casket. The rabbi started and his sermon went on and on speaking of the MANs 2 sons. He never mentioned the BOY. With each passing moment and each mention of the MAN’s sons the GIRL grew stiffer and sadder. She started to pray to G-D that the BOY had no knowledge of what the rabbi was saying. How is a son forgotten? She left the synagogue with a knife in her heart and held her breath on the 45 ride to the cemetery. At the cemetery all of the family was invited to stand on one side. The GIRL and the BOY was excluded, again, the pain, the anguish was beyond anything the GIRL could ever possibly imagine in life, yet she stood and took the BOYs hand after everyone was done and hand over hand put the dirt on the MAN’s casket while the BOY tried to wiggle his hand free from such as task. All she said was, “you are strong, you can do this.”

The hours have turned into days and the days into nights and the nights into weeks and now it’s a year that the MAN is gone. The pain is still there and the GIRL is very much alone to make decisions for the BOY alone. She is scared, frightened and worried. All she keeps hearing is, “you are strong. You will be fine.” The MAN’s mother’s behavior is well forgiven, because the GIRL realizes that she can never imagine such to a mother. She loves the mother and always will. She loves the family, but knew the day she walked out the door of the MAN’s house she would never be a true part of the family again. A pain she will always live with.

I believe it is difficult for any outsider to look at this situation and understand unless you were wearing the shoes that they all wore. Living and keeping love in some autism families are just beyond possible for some and for the GIRL and the MAN this was true.

The best part of all is the GIRL was there and the MAN and the GIRL knew that LOVE still lived in their hearts and always will.

The GIRL thinks the MAN sent me to their home to help and well…….I’ll never tell her different.

Yes, Autism Does Have a Language and LOTS OF FRIENDS

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The GIRL is tired today, very tired. She almost fell asleep driving on the highway. This is not good because she didn’t even bring me out with them today. She said, “Doodle, you need a break, stay home.” Time changes are always a mess for the boy and difficult for the GIRL. She says that over the years with the BOY she has probably lost over 252,000 hours of sleep and that doesn’t include the time change hours that she lost, that is just mom of autism lack of sleep.

The BOY doesn’t adapt well to time changes. His biological clock stays true  and on fall -back time he is up by 4am raring to go through the day like a bull in a china shop. That means breakfast should be within an hour and lunch a couple hours after. The GIRL has finally figured out through the years on the fall back time to give him snacks throughout the day so he keeps food in his belly and doesn’t get super cranky. Sometimes it works other times it’s a failure.  Today wasn’t bad, but anything was an improvement from yesterday.

About 2 months ago, I started doing this blog and then started a facebook page. The GIRL was not in the best frame of mind when I started all of this, but day-by-day as she peeked over my paws she saw something and I saw something in her.

You see the GIRL has been working in the field of autism ever since the BOY was diagnosed. Yup, she eats, breathes and lives autism, and has done so for a LONG time (I think it’s why she gets a little cranky time-to-time), actually about 24 years now. She has worked doing one thing or another and truth be told she was really starting to lose appreciation for many parents. She was finding too many parents looking to blame others for their child’s issues and looking for others to “fix” their child and if they didn’t “fix them” throw an attitude that the person or place isn’t doing their job. She was finding too many parents that were constantly demanding more supports and services of her when she was doing well over the top of what one human could do and it still wasn’t enough for them, BUT they would refuse to step up to the plate to offer help when she would ask. They just wanted her to do all the work. They gave her excuses like, they were tired (hello), they had a child with autism (hello), they had a job (hello), it was too far to drive (hello she drove there) and they didn’t have the money (hello), or they were a single parent, how could a single parent help (HELLO AGAIN). She was finding too many parents not wanting to face the reality of the diagnosis and too many wanting everything in life for free because they had a child with autism (she really hates that). She was just getting burnt out and was still trying to bring herself and the BOY back together from losing the BOY’s dad.  Needless to say the last 2 years has been an over the top struggle for the GIRL and she knew it.

BUT……..then she found them from looking over my paws. The parents from all over the world that are out there speaking up, banding together to provide for one another. They provide arms to hug with, shoulders to cry on, hands to pick one up, tissues for tears, laugher when needed and hearts to love with. These are the thousands of moms and dads that she has found through my blog and facebook. They are there. They are not looking to blame. They are not asking for free stuff every minute. They are not demanding her to do more. They are just there. There to let her know once again she is not alone and we are all on this same damn boat floating out in the sea looking for a captain who can tell us where the hell we are going.

Some of our friends are going to bed when we wake up while others are battling autism battles and rights with schools, while some are struggling to just keep their child safe from harming themselves and some waiting for that one word. The best part is almost all of them do it with humor….humor because we all have learned that it is easier to laugh and if we didn’t laugh we would never make it day after day after day. They try to make each other laugh and sometimes it’s a humor that only they get because it’s there side of normal that most other people don’t get.

It’s almost as if it’s a language of it’s own. Perhaps it is AUTIELANG or something, but whatever it is, it gives them all a peace within. A peace that others know, understand, support and love. It gives a peace that someone is always there no matter if it’s the middle of the night and you’re awake due to autism not sleeping or a bad night, someone is always there to laugh, cry, pick you up or hold you.

It’s their world……a very special world to be in with a language of it’s own. A world where only the strong survive with bangs and bumps, but survive. The GIRL is happy to be a part of such a beautiful place with so many wonderful people.

The Doodle is honored and pleased to be a friend of each and every one. If you want to meet some really cool, awesome autism heroes go to my facebook page and check out my likes. Tell them the Doodle sent you. They are all better than best and will make your day that much better.

Be kind support autism peace hugs love a doodle. The doodle loves you.

Autism Storms the House

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It was a difficult day for all of us. The weather was beautiful and the GIRL had big plans for all of us to spend most of the day outside enjoying it, BUT autism got in the way today and we spent most of the day being quiet and trying to ride out the autism storm that was brewing inside the BOY.

The BOY has been doing GREAT. We have had very few eruptions in the last several weeks. Just the other day at the doctor’s office the GIRL said we were all doing awesome. Perhaps she spoke to soon, perhaps the change in the weather is just too much for the BOY.

As any other Saturday the BOY was up bright-eyed and busy tailed well before 6am. The GIRL and I decided to hang around in bed for a while enjoying the cool crisp morning air. We finally got out of bed around 7:15am. This seemed to start the hurricane within the BOY. The GIRL is assuming he wanted us up earlier so he could come in the GIRL’s room to collect her clothing from the day before and night so he could start his Saturday laundry.

Agitation begins.

The GIRL and I go out for our morning walk. I was loving life today. It was cool and I was frisky. YAHOO. We are gonna go out all day. The GIRL was feeling good too in the crisp weather. We took a 2 mile walk and returned home.

The BOY was dress like it was ten below outside and he informed the GIRL it was cold outside and the GIRL said, “well it’s not really cold it’s CHILLY.”

Lava building up quickly to spill over!!!! OH NO…NOT CHILLY.

The BOY then starts to perseverate that it is not CHILLY it is COLD. 10, 20, 50, 100 times he repeats this and starts his over correction with the GIRL and ordering her to say things the way he wants them said. YES, you read it right he says, “I order you to say…….”. The GIRL always replies with the only ORDERING done around here is in a restaurant and we aren’t in a restaurant.

Me, I’m hanging out by the front door. The GIRL has it open with a gate in front for the cool, crisp, clean air to come in the house and oh the neighbors are doing a garage sale. There were a lot of new cars pulling up and lots of strange people walking very close to my door and I thought I should probably bark at those humans, after all they could be coming to harm the GIRL and the BOY.

ERUPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The BOY begins smacking himself in the head, calling me a stupid idiot, the GIRL, his when really angry, GOAT FACE and smashing his hand on the table, sofa and throwing the stuff on the coffee table.

Now usually I go in on these storms and I can stop him but today, well I just knew it was too bad a storm and if I went in I probably would not have come out. So the GIRL and I backed off. The GIRL instructed him to go to the other room to relax.

It GOT WORSE.

He continued to hit himself in the head, break the bed, rip the stuff off the wall and scream at the top of his lungs. I was like GIRL we have to go in and she said, “NO, he needs to calm, we can get hurt.”

Calming in our house typically is to shut down things that stimulate senses. So off goes the TV and I don’t bark and the GIRL doesn’t talk. We become QUIET.

QUIET BRING CALM.

About an hour later the BOY was somewhat calm. Three hours later we decided to try to run some errands. It wasn’t the worse day we had out, but it wasn’t pleasant either. The GIRL knew the BOY was on the edge of eruption the mere 2 hours we were out so not wanting another storm of such magnitude we came home.

It appears that the weather always has an effect on the BOY. Maybe it’s the sensory thing of going from shorts to pants. We live in Florida, so most of our year we are in shorts. Maybe he doesn’t like the feel of that and it just makes everything else harder to deal with on a daily basis. Maybe it was because yesterday was Halloween and he hates Halloween. He wishes that someone, somewhere, somehow would steal this holiday and never brings it back. Sometimes these eruptions are from things in the past that he just runs over and over in his mind until he breaks. We never know. 

Each day is a new day. Life isn’t always as we plan it but we always try to make the best of each of our days. Thank goodness for tomorrows.

 

Take that Comment and Shove it

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When you have a child with a disability sometimes people say the dumbest things.

PEOPLE…… do yourself and the family you are about to open your mouth to……………just don’t say anything.  You are ANNOYING..

Here are just a couple that make the  GIRL crazy………

Oh don’t worry I understand.

This makes us roll on the floor laughing. They DON’T have a clue and if you ask them if they have ever spent time with someone with autism, they would probably say, no.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh, that makes me so happy, listen I need someone to take care of him for a couple of days so I can get away and you seem to really understand, what days would work best for you, and oh the doodle can come too. He knows how to calm him down when he starts smashing the walls.”

Where will he live when he grows up?

Really. Why does it matter to them and all it does is make the parent feel horrible because it reminds them that once again their child will always need support and what will happen to them when they are gone.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh, I’m so glad you asked. His attorney for his guardianship tells us to find people who may be interested to have him live with them. You seem to be very interested. Thank you so much for asking.”

Will he ever be able to…………………?

Don’t ask this. It’s a horrible thing to ask a parent and a parent doesn’t know for sure until that time comes. Miracles do happen and things change. The GIRL never thought the BOY would be able to shave himself. He does GREAT and is always clean-shaven.

The GIRL would like to say, “I wonder if you will ever be able to learn not to ask such a stupid ass question.”

What is he good at?

Oh, this one knocks my tail off. Many still think of the movie ‘Rain Man’ and that all people with autism are savants in one area.

The GIRL would like to say, “at driving his mother to consume large quantities of wine in one sitting, but don’t worry, I’m in AA now so we are just taking one day at a time.”

Yes, this autism thing is really getting big isn’t it?

Stupid, dumb and dumber thing to say. Yes, ma’am it’s 1 out of 68 now and guess what the BOY is one.

The GIRL would like to say, “Just what the heck do you mean by that. Are you dumb or dumber?”

So, what does he do for fun?

Lady, do you really care….NO, so don’t ask.

The GIRL would like to say, “Oh he hangs out at the corner bar every night. That’s why we bought the house we did near that bar so he could walk home.”

Can he do anything on his own?

Why, don’t you get the salt out and just rub it in the cut. This has to be the absolute most horrible thing to ask someone.

The GIRL would like to say, “oh yes, he can destroy a house in about 10 minutes. What day did you say that brunch was at your house?”

You know… my niece, or is that my 2nd niece, in Allygoodville works with those types of kids?

What, I can’t believe I just heard that ‘those type of kids.”

The GIRL would like to say, “GREAT, why don’t you write her name , number and address down so I can send her another one of ‘those kids.”

We can go on and on and on and on, just like the BOY. Feel free to share one of those comments that you would like to say, “take that comment and shove it.

Here is the bottom line……………Speak the truth, don’t act like you know the answer if you don’t, always think how that question would make you feel it you were a parent of a child that required additional supports and ALWAYS abide by the Thumper Rule. IF YOU DON’T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

Oh, another fast favorite, “oh I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.” Lady, he’s 25 …when do you think that will happen. You maven moron.

Feel free to leave one….

Bite Autism Speaks in the Ass

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I, as a doodle, would like to bite Autism Speaks in the ass. I’d take a big ol’ bite too. One that would put them out of commission for months or years just to heal. WHY? Because they aren’t actually helping individuals with autism NOW. They take a huge amount of money out of local communities and don’t even give a pawful back. Don’t get your pants in a bitty. Hear my bark. Do your research!

When the Wrights first founded Autism Speaks the GIRL thought it was going to be great because Bob Wright was NBC’s Universal Chief and she thought this would really put autism on the globe and in households as a common word. Basically it has done that, but along the way lost its focus. It appears it has clearly become something about ‘power,’ ‘money,’ and ‘polotics.’ Not about individuals with autism and local communities.

Autism currently is occurring 1 out of 68 births. Amazing isn’t it? Damn, that should scar any doodle and any person who is donating money to autism to make sure that it is going to places that is going to directly help individuals.

Those of you that are donating to Autism Speaks and supporting them in any way, I strongly urge you to look at their financial records. Do you know they are paying salaries over $450,000 a year? Yes, you read that number correctly. Do you really think an organization that is to support people with autism or any disability should be paying salaries in that range. Don’t you think that a portion of that money should be going back to families?

Then they come into your town and host these huge Autism Walks. Oh, you can’t wait to get your team ready, make your shirts, pay your walk fee and even raise extra dollars to support autism. You think you’re doing good. You have not done good. YOUR ARE STEALING FORM FAMILIES AND PEOPLE WITH AUTISM. ARE YOUR PROUD TO BE A THIEF? Do you know that they average about $200,000 a walk? How much of that money do you see for your loved one with autism? How much money could you use for your loved one with autism? Do you know what $200,000 in the hands of a good organization could do for your loved one with autism?

THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE.

Every year they march into your town and tell you what a wonderful job they are doing for your child and in reality what have they done for YOUR child? It’s your money they are taking. Reminds me of the old Medicine Shows with traveling horse and wagon teams who peddled “miracle cure” medications and other products between various entertainment acts. You giving Autism Speaks money is no different than buying from the medicine man thinking it’s going to cure you. Shame on you. It has to stop. Too many local families need support and they are not getting it.

It gets me in a furball mood when I hear families complain about nothing being done for their loved one in their local community and they point their fingers at their local community service providers saying they are not doing anything.

GET WITH IT PEOPLE. AUTISM SPEAKS IS SUCKING THE MONEY OUT and decreasing the chances of your family member with autism getting support.

Typically your local community service provider is funded by the state or a local grassroots non-profit. Do you know what that means? Little to no money, but people who truly care about the individual with the disability are working there and I can assure you they are paid about 1/8 or less than Autism Speaks personal, and yes, they have highly qualified degrees. Now you go give your money to Autism Speaks or you ‘light it up blue,’ or some other stupid thing like that and guess what? That small non-profit or state agency doesn’t give a piss hole bucket back from Autism Speaks to do something for your loved one with autism. So…….that is why you sit begging, screaming and demanding more….BUT you are doing that from the wrong people…They don’t have the money because you gave it away to HOLLYWOOD, POLITICS AND FANCY LIFESTYLES.

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we need more things to help us not steal from us~

Article to read. Remember Autism Speaks is a non-profit organization and their financial records are open to the public. Please look at them and think about what they have actually done in your community and for your loved one with autism. We will forgive you if you gave to them in the past. But stop, do the right thing.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/06/13/autism-speaks-but-should-everyone-listen.html

Be Kind Support Autism peace hugs love a doodle

The Police Pulled us Over

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OK, so I told you I would share the police story of the GIRL and the BOY with you and I think today is the PeRFecT day to do that. I’m feeling tuckered right out. I went to play Frisbee golf with the BOY and the Other Boy. I ran around like a chicken without their head.

It was a hot day somewhat like today. The GIRL had just picked the BOY up from his school and they had just finished with the usual stops at the grocery store, bank and post office (we didn’t have all these apps like today). The BOY was not in a happy mood. He wanted to be home long before they were on their way.

He was probably 4. At that time at the age of 4 a child’s seat was not required. He had to be buckled in but no child seat. Yes, I know the times have changed. The GIRL had a 4-door sedan type car.

Getting the BOY to stay in a seat belt was always a challenge. Getting the BOY in any seat was a challenge. The GIRL felt the BOY was the best Houdini she ever met. He could get out of anything in 3 seconds flat. If she knew the drive ahead was 20 minutes she would almost double the time to get to point B because she knew she would be pulling over every couple of minutes to lock the BOY back in his car seat or seat belt. If she left him out he would win and think he didn’t have to buckle up.

On this day the girl was exhausted. In the proceeding 3 nights she probably got about 12 hours total sleep. She was tired, cranky and over the top with autism. They were ¼ mile or less from home. She could feel home and maybe get a wink in because the BOY’s father should be home.

Click, snap.

There he is standing in the middle of the 2 front seats straddling the hump in the back seat like a cowboy riding a new horse with tight jeans bouncing side to side. The look on his face was one of triumph escape joy. The GIRL said to herself, I don’t care. I can crawl home and I am not pulling over one more time. Let him straddle that hump.

WRONG…………the red lights and the piercing sound was ringing in her ears and reflecting off of her mirror.

She pulls over. I think you should be aware the car clearly spells out autism on it. The vehicle’s license plate clearly distinguishes there is either someone in the car with autism or that the owner of the vehicle is very close to someone with autism.

The officer walks up to the window and says, “Ma’am do you know why I am pulling you over.” Being cranky and tired the GIRL thinks in her head DUH….no let me see….you wanted to ask me what was for dinner?

The GIRL very politely says, “Yes, officer, I am sorry, we have been on the road for about 15 minutes and I’ve already re-buckled him at least 8 times. I’m tired and cranky and just want to get home. We are having a very autistic day”

Officer: “I understand, I have kids of my own. Do you mind if I have a talk with the BOY.”

GIRL: doing her very best acting to withhold her wanting to laugh so hard right in his face routine, very lady like says nooooooooooooo, NOT at all. She places her finger on the rear window button to put it down. She wanted to make it much easier for the officer to have this conversation with her son. It was a pleasure he wanted to venture there………..

Officer: “ Hi son, I’m your friend…..I’m a police officer….you need to wear your seatbelt and stay in it. Do you know why?”

With that the BOY dives to the floorboard on the opposite side of the car and starts to dig feverishly on the carpet and yells, “I don’t want to die, let me out. I want to live.” (in case you don’t know that is what Wilbur the pig says in Charlotte’s Web).

Officer looking rather perplexed. “Son, son, now calm down. I am your friend. No need to be afraid. You need to wear that seatbelt. It’s a safety precaution. Son, let me explain, I am your friend.”

BOY: “no, no, no, please, I DON’T WANT TO DIE. I WANT TO LIVE.”

Officer: “Son now listen to me. Just focus on my voice. You are fine. You will be fine. Just relax, blah, blah, blah.”

The GIRL is sitting in the front, sit as stiff as a board. Her knuckles are white because she is gripping the steering wheel so hard and the tears are rolling down her eyes.

Her stiff body is starting to jiggle and she is trying her hardest to not allow any sounds escape her mouth and tries even harder to keep her body stiff form jiggling like the jolly old man in red.

She is LAUGHING AND LAUGHING AND LAUGHING …He want’s to talk to him………………Controlling her silence and rigid body is becoming a difficult task.

Couple of minutes of the BOY continuing to dig and escalate the officer comes back up to the front window. The GIRL tries to quickly wipe the tears of laughter away.

Officer: “Ma’am”

GIRL: “yes”

Officer: (shaking head) “is there any medication to give him?”

GIRL: “Officer if there was something that would work I would probably have him on it.”

Officer: “Where do you live”

GIRL: “right over there (she points to the subdivision across street)

Officer: “OH, THERE, well heck he’s fine. You just get home and ma’am…well…umm. Ma’am..yeah..uh…best of luck to you.”

GIRL: “Thanks officer, we may need it some days.”

The BOY is not good with back and forth communication. He has always had language but does not communicate well. He has always used scripts from movies however, the good thing is he has always used them in appropriate context. Till today he will do this. Sometimes you have to stop and think what is this person really trying to tell me and most important to remember is BEHAVIOR IS A FORM OF COMMUNICATION. 

Today the BOY always buckles up and reminds everyone in the vehicle to buckle up. Even me. Guess all those pull-overs worked.

 

Support Autism Peace hugs love a doodle.